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Tan Kah Wang, 20, 24/1/91 (:
There's not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile, The whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing Just the way you are Links and Credits Layout: Clairine Warner Codes: -ambulance Icon: biconcave Arshad; Alex; Bernard; Chean Fei; Chor Chuan; Derek; Dion; Elaine; Fang Qi; Geraldine(JJC); Geraldine(BBSS); Gui Ping; Hong Jin; Huixian; Huiyan; Huiyi; Iezah; Jacelyn; Jian Hao; Jiayi; Jingyun; Jocelyn; Kok Leong; Li Huan; Melissa; Min Wei; Nabil; Qiao Yi; Raymond(FHSS); Raymond(JJC); Ruiyi; Si Jia; Sipei; Siying; Tiffany; Tommy; Wee Lat; Xiaowei |
Saturday, 30 October 2010
 does the quote above applies to me? how i hope it does ): another week gone, more problems came. covering for outfield wasn't that bad afterall. at least you no need to stay inside the medical center and endure everything. wednesday night, i nearly quarreled with the senior medic. i ran back all the way from bunk to the medical center to see him. thought it was something important, but turn out, RUBBISH! and worst thing is, its already 11.45pm that night. the whole thursday i was damn moody. i 无缘无故 kena appointed docu ic and sickbay ic. KNS! docu ic is the worst thing in medical center pls. so much paper works and shit left behind to clear. and i just posted in like 1 month jiu must bear so much responsibilities. can't he at least appoint someone to be sickbay ic at least. and i think i will die seriously for the medical center audit soon. especially after we've failed the first one. i think he did all those to land me in hot water. i seriously don't know how to survive for my remaining NS life. think i will start crying soon, like seriously ): i'm so tired, really tired. now weekends seem 100 times more precious than ever le. i really need to go out and breathe the air outside. went out with quebec platoon mates again (: supposed to meet monthly but i guess next month everyone will be busy huh. so meet up todae after going out 2 weeks ago with them. went clarke quay mrt station at 2.30pm. waited for dx but hh came also. haha, he supposed to go for the dance lesson which i was supposed to join also. end up he was very late then nvr go, LOL! so the 3 of us walked to LIANG court. fyi, i've nvr been to LIANG court before. i don't even know where it is till i went to the google maps to see. it was a place full of japanese stuffs i suppose. met up with jix, a guy whom i last saw was during BMT? then MG & Ian came, had light lunch at some japanese ramen store. it was seriously quite expensive i thought, so i only ordered a $5 side dish, haha. then Abraham joined us, missed him man! haha! planned to have dinner at the fish head steamboat place, LTA Yang Heng recommended at North Bridge Road. took mrt to nicoll highway, LOL, nvr been to that mrt station before sia. we had the fish-head steamboat and it was seriously AWESOME! 7 ppl eating and it was only $71.90, cheap huh? its also quite famous i think cause its very crowded. definitely going to go back there to eat it again (: met kop fan weijie at ASTON, really small world. and its great seeing a section mate i've nvr met ever since BMT (: after that me, HH, jix, MG and joshua went marina square to walk walk. thought of playing bowling but it was damn long. so walked around and i found 3 shops in marina square that i really want go. TIME FOR SHOPPING! HAHA! went kopitiam, talk cock sing song till 10 plus then jiu home sweet home le. joshua said this, " the grass is always greener on the other side" damn true i think, i will be so envious of other ppl in their units, and other units ppl will be damn envious of me being in medic. same logic, human beings are always never satisfied. maybe its time to accept my fate, 认命了! i think i fell in love with someone whom i shouldn't have,how? 11:34 pm Saturday, 23 October 2010  picture speaks more than a 1000 words. yes, i hope everything will be back to the way it is. this week was at least so much better than last week. kept telling myself to think positively, and persevere on with all the bullshit he put me through. area cleaning till 10+ at night make everyday seems so long. the week was so damn slow okay, serious. but i'm glad i've pulled it through the first 3 weeks of OJT. finally a certified medic to go on cover ourselves. and speaking of it, the first cover on monday, FIELD CAMP! holy moly! and its not one day but four days. god bless me please (: i found out that for the past few days, i like to stare in empty spaces for awhile. only then, i will be welled into deep thoughts. thinking of everything, anything that comes to my mind at that moment. and every night when i lie down on my bed with my ipod plugged in, different tracks make me think of different things.  yes, "Vanilla Twilight" one of the highest played song on my ipod. whenever i hear this song, it reminds me of quebec people. maybe its because it was during that period i first heard that song. maybe its because i wrote down the lyrics and brought it with me to tekong. maybe its because we used to sing that song together in bunk in tekong.  i got scolded twice this week in the medical center. and its directly, face to face. never before in army that i've been scolded directly by someone face to face. and whats worst is, i got scolded for others' mistakes. the first was by a 3rd SGT coming into medical center for ORD FFI. when he scolded me, i was quite dumbfounded. i just stood there, don't know what to say at all. and i need my senior to come and protect me, felt so weak ): never mind, the week is gone. and next week won't be in medical center for most of the week. hopefully it will be good break away from the hectic and sucky life. all of a sudden, i've the urge to shop. i seriously need a new wallet and a pair of shoes. wallet got hole, shoes became two piece in taiwan then i superglued it back, LOL! i just hope chinese new year will come faster so that i can buy new stuffs again (: and my holiday trip to hong kong this year, dashed! its so difficult to apply leave in my medical center, especially when all the responsibilities coming to me soon. and i'm gotta book in tomorrow night =X cause the field camp starts at 6am on monday. i got addicted to this new song called "Heart Vacancy" by "The Wanted" keep on hearing it through the radio in medical center. and it took me so long to realise how beautiful the lyrics of "Thunder" to be. Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer, Do you know you're unlike any other? You'll always be my thunder, and I said , Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors, I don't wanna ever love another, You'll always be my thunder. The Wanted - Heart Vacancy I hear your heart cry for love, But you won't let me make it right. You were hurt, but I decided, That you were worth the fight. Every night, you lock up, You won't let me come inside. But the look in your eyes, As I can turn the tide. In your heart, in your heart, in your heart, I can tell you can fit one more. In your heart, in your heart, in your heart, I don't care who was there before. I hear your heart call for love, Then you act like there's no room. Room for me, or anyone, "Don't disturb" is all I see. Close the door, turn the key, On everything that we could be. If loneliness would move out, I'd fill the vacancy. In your heart, in your heart, in your heart, In your heart, in your heart, in your heart. This ain't the Heartbreak Hotel, Even though I know it well. Those no shows, they sure tell, In the way you hold yourself. Don't you fret, should you get, Another cancellation. Give me a chance I'd make a, Permanent reservation. In your heart, in your heart, in your heart, I can tell you can fit one more. Open up make a brand new start, I don't care who's stayed before. When I, talk to you, on the phone, Listen close. 9:26 pm Saturday, 16 October 2010 i seriously want to ooc from medic course or get out of that freakingly idiotic camp! i can't believe i'm gonna stuck with that senior medic for the next 1 year 4 month! yesterday was the first day the new senior medic officially took over. still remember the first time we saw him on wednesday, he said to us the 3 OJTs "forget what stories you've heard about me" i thought he'll changed towards the good. fyi, the stories referred to him asking all the medics to clean up the whole medical center, even crawl up to the ceilings to scrub the algae off. WTF! this kind of person really 吃饱没事做! supposed to book out at 5.30pm on friday. that guy came and started all his fascinating stunts. stand by area at 4.30pm. okay first time we failed, asked us to clean again. clean for 15 mins, checked again, failed again. then one of the senior said," wtf! clean again and then fall in again? waste my time!" that senior medic heard him and said "if you all want play, i got the whole night to play!" WTH! i seriously don't know what he want sia! doesn't he have a family? don't he want to go back home earlier to spend time with them? and finally after cleaning and failing, we passed at 7.15pm -,-''' and he said this was just the lowest standard to pass. next week onwards, stand by area in medical center everyday, i've got the feelings he'll ask us to scrub algae again. that meanie weenie devil, even Ms Yamuna is so much better than him la! after that, we thought can finally book out. NO WAY! went to his office sign the book in book out book. "all your handwriting seriously sucks!" "now i want you all to write on a paper then i'll approve, then can write on the book" WTH! pls, we're not primary school kids! one more of his fascinating stunt, there won't be anymore stay out for us from now on. aren't we working in the medical center from 8-5 everyday? now he arranged a bunk for us and all need to stay in!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! still say to us its not necessary for you all to stay in. i bet there'll be more area cleaning in the bunk. i think we should change our vocation to "combat area cleaner" ORD, pls faster come, i really need to get of that place with that a**hole there! i no longer have the optimism to carry on my army life. i'm getting more and more fragile nowadays like what MG said ): so fragile that my body is seriously in such a low condition. this morning woke up really freakingly sick, no fever but then body just ache all over. don't really feel like going for the monthly BMT platoon outing, but then i seriously miss them and being together with them makes me super happy (: so went out, trying to forget everything about my camp. went vivocity at 1.30pm, ended up late (oops!) gautham, kaixuan, ding xiang & david were there. waited for the others to join till like 2.30. stanley, teck soon, tevin, jia rong, meng guan, nicholas, joshua and sheng yang. finally saw sheng yang after like 4 months !?!?! missed him to the max sia! went to the Earle Swensen's (i think) to have lunch. its weird, didn't know there's this restaurant. reminded me of the days i worked in swensen's, but its a higher quality place, haha! had the clam chowder soup and the tuna cheese prata? whatever its called. saw Dave, my cdayl camper, didn't call him cause he was with his girlfriend, haha! after that walked around, supposed to watch movie but all full =X ended up taking the mrt to somerset. went cineleisure to see the movie timings, no good movie so didn't watch. went played arcade instead for awhile. after that time really flies sia, time for dinner. went to "The Handburger" at 313. damn it was good! seriously deserved to be on the newspaper. i want go try it again! AWESOME STUFF! after that walked around orchard awhile, talk cock sing song on the way. time really flies when you're with the best ppl around. why time doesn't fly when i'm in the bloody medical center? on monday afternoon, went IMH with a patient. first time sitting the ambulance, damn it was slow like?!?!?!! i saw this very meaningful quote at IMH, "Accept who you are. You may be a drop in the ocean, but every drop counts!" its kind of nice and meaningful isn't it? but still i don't have the ability to do this in my medical center. thanks to those who ask me to press on, really appreciate all your thoughts and concerns. but once you're in my footsteps, its really difficult to get things right. and another thing that really bother me. i think i'm losing a really close friend. i seriously hope what we think about him is not true and he's still the person i know last time back in BMT. why do all the bad things happen to me at once? i'm no longer the one who fights everything with optimism, and have a postive thinking anymore. i seem so fragile, weak and so easily knocked down by all sort of obstacles. 我到底怎么了? 明天会更好? really? 带我走 out of sungei gedong! 带走我 away from that senior medic! 10:38 pm Saturday, 9 October 2010 mood: sad & depressed ): the reason? simple, i don't like my new camp!!! it totally sucks pls! cannot believe i'm stuck there for the next 1 year 5 months. everyday i'm just rotting in the medical center. to get posted to a medical center is actually quite a bad thing i thought. you can simply kiss goodbye to all army stuffs, what helmet, ilbv, pt-kit, rifle, all are redundant now! i don't want my ns life to end like that la! to make this worst, the camp itself is just, sucky! first of all, the camp is freakingly huge! 4 armour units and 1 combat engineers unit, but only 1 medical center. yes, imagine the casualty rate, 2nd highest to pulau tekong ): second, the senior medics! we've 5 or 6 senior medics pls! and stories of the worst one seriously make me want to go and cry! third, we have countless duties to do. i can kiss goodbye to most of my weekends le ): all these seriously make me miss damn LOT of things. still, BMT is still the best. if only those best buds in BMT are all posted to sungei gedong medical center. i wouldn't mind working together with them, even for the rest of my life. okay enough say of my bad first week, seriously spoilt my mood to the max. yesterday night came back home, switched on the tv, OMG! 蔡琪慧 on the 8pm show! to make it better, even on the 9pm show! haha! brighten up my day a little (: this morning went for a run. dang! 1 whole week in a medical center under aircon room, stamina seriously drop like shit! sad sad sad! afternoon went JP watch "detective dee" with CC. tried "AMBUSH" for lunch, okay ah, their sausages are nice (: the show was quite awesome i thought. saw the trailer like abit stupid but turn out quite good actually. next movie? i don't know, nothing good is coming out soon i think. i'm in a dilemma right now. should i learn guitar first or driving first? driving seems so much practical but its quite expensive. guitar is cheaper and music just makes me happy (: shall ponder upon this for the next 2 weeks of OJT, since after 2 more weeks, will be staying out le. okay la, nothing much le. hopefully the coming week, everything will be better and i'll be happier! (: 9:03 pm Saturday, 2 October 2010 wee! finally 3 months have passed! i'm finally a level 2 paramedic, ready to go on the field and save lives! but nope, i'm not going to the battlefield ): i'm posted to medical center, yes, its 8 to 5 everyday. my army life is totally ruined with this. now i just don't feel like i'm in the army anymore. seriously very very sad, i would rather go be the platoon medic for 1SIR. can somebody just ooc me? and the worst thing is its at some ulu camp at Sungei Gedong! freak this! even though its at the west side, need 1 hour bus ride! WTH! i seriously feel like crying! making me more regret about why i didn't work extra hard during BMT. now there's nothing to look forward to le. perhaps ORD? long way to go ): and my re-service years, all at the medical center, FML! enough about what will happen to me for next 1 1/2 years or so. last week of being a trainee in Nee Soon really quite sad. medic night, taking of graduation cert, donning the armband, passing out parade. and speaking of POP, finally had one proper POP!   thank you platoon 1 for the 3 months! everyone did a great job! thank you section 4 for everything! i think i'll miss everyone of platoon 1 la. especially since i'm the only one from my platoon going sungei gedong ): wonder when will be the next time we'll ever meet each other. this morning had our very first platoon 1 section 4 outing. went k-box at marina square. okay, its the same freaking cold room when i went with my section from quebec last time. so qiao huh? haha! there were Edward, Feiyu, Yen Sin & Shang Kai. had the k-lunch, okay their lunch really not that good. like eating some cookhouse rations like that, LOL! sang from 11-2 then after that went play pool and Anthony came. seriously playing pool is not my forte afterall, haha (: then jiu came back home le. just now father drove me to my new camp to see see. damn! its seriously ULU! more ulu than i thought. must pass through all the cemeteries, damn spooky la! holy shit! i'm seriously in a state of emo-sion now! maybe its time to upgrade myself le. gotta go try learning some things like guitar or driving. especially since i've so much time with the 8-5 posting -,-''' KF actually asked me to go join dancing with him and HH. even registered our names at the studio le. but i doubt i'll go, can you imagine me dancing Show Luo's dance? i will look more like a clown i guess, haha (: and the new 9pm show on channel 8 got 蔡琪慧! she looks so damn pretty in there. believe she's one of the main character! yea, can watch her show finally! (: will be posting next friday or saturday maybe. cause for the 1st week got On-Job-Training, need stay in camp. till then, good bye and please pray for me that the medical center posting is 100X better! (: 10:13 pm |
